the quilt...

grandmother hazel's foxy quilt, canon digital rebel xti

I have been quiet lately. I have been consumed with work and working out (both of which are way to time consuming). They are taking away from my knitting and my photography. I hired a personal trainer and he is kicking my butt and I am also whimpering around with lactic acid build up in every muscle group. It even hurts to type. I know I need to do this for me right now and I need to prove to myself that despite my illness I can get in shape and be as physically strong as I am mentally.

Lately, I have been feeling very nostalgic and found myself wrapping up in a quit made by my great grandmother. It has been in storage for the last several years but I needed to wrap myself in her love. In every quilt she made, she always incorporated part of her clothes into them. She usually cut up old dresses or aprons. I think she wanted us all to have a piece of her when we she was gone. I smile every time I see an old photo of her in some wild dress pattern only to be reminded of that same dress when I use the quilt. She actually gave me two quilts. One was partially destroyed by my first dog, Simon. He took a big bite out of the bottom corner. This past week, I pulled it out of storage too and dropped it off at a local quilt shop to be repaired.

My great grandmother Hazel was the type of woman that called sew, quilt, knit, crochet, and bake. I realize that back in the day you learned all of those skills out of necessity but I can only dream of having time to do all of my crafts (knitting, jewelry making, baking, photography, sewing and inventing).

lost dogs of pompeii...

black stray dog in pompeii, canon digital rebel xti

I always have all of these great ideas brewing in my head. My future yarn shop, my new knitting invention, creating a charity, writing a book, etc. I have wheels in motion on a few of the above but I guess it's my wish to do all of them.

One of the items I really want to pursue this year is saving all of the "lost dogs" of Pompeii in Italy. Yes, that's right I want to scoop up all of the abandoned dogs that are living in the hot sun with little shade at the mercy of tourists for food, water and attention.

Italians do not believe in euthanizing animals just because they have overstayed their welcome in the shelter. I am happy about that but that means that their shelters are packed full of dogs. Italians are abandoning their dogs in record numbers at major tourist destinations all over Italy since the shelters are not accepting any new intakes. If they are caught they will be fined but that does not seem to be stopping them. Don't get me wrong... Many Italians are dog lovers and have many pets but just like anywhere in the world there are irresponsible pet owners and people who shouldn't be allowed to have a dog.

It makes me sad, it makes me want to start a rescue mission to find good homes for all of those poor dogs that just need a chance and a little love.

family...

mom,dad,aunt lois, uncle ron, gretchan, bryan and I, canon digital rebel xti

When you battle an illness, you truly realize the importance of good friends and the unwavering support of your family. Many people have told me you look so good in this picture. I cringe to myself because I remember the day very vividly. We all went downtown to watch my cousin, Gret run the Columbus Marathon. She loves to run marathons which I find insane. I had the most excruciating headache, of course at the time I had no idea I had extremely high intercranial pressure in my brain from the over abundance of spinal fluid my body was making. I ask myself how the heck did I even get off the couch that day? I spent 500 straight days with an excruciating headache and was starting to lose my vision from it until I got a shunt put in my back.

I have come a long way from the day this picture was taken, however I still have bad days from the overall arching neurological condition I have. I wonder if I will ever be normal or if I will ever be able to have a child, etc. I truly try to live in the now and not dwell in the past or question why this happened to me. It's wasted energy and it's taken me several years to figure that out.

Everyone has some plight in their life whether they carry it silently or whether they share it with the ones they love. I have learned that kindness, genuine caring and support from family and friends are what really get you through the rough patches. My experience has also enabled me to connect with others on a whole different level.

little church in the country...

my childhood church, canon digital rebel xti

I am going home this weekend not only for my Dad's birthday but because it is Easter Sunday. For thirty five years, I have attended Easter sunrise service at the church my great, great grandfather founded, which also happens to be right down the road from where I grew up. As a kid I hated going to Easter service because you had to be there at 7 am. I wanted to sleep in and see what the Easter bunny brought:-)

This church has a lot of special memories for me. Many of the elders of the church have since passed but I still can remember all of those special gents and ladies. My grandparents also attended this church. Every Sunday I would sit with my Gramps and then go out to eat with him at the place of my choosing. I was very close to my Grandpa and I can't sit in this church without thinking of him when we sing one of his favorite hymns. It always brings tears to my eyes.

He was a big part of my upbringing. I saw him everyday for most of my life. Although he is no longer here... I think of him often and carry him in my heart always.

mon pere

My dad with Denver, canon digital rebel xti

My Dad turns 60 this weekend. It is so hard to believe. It seems like yesterday when he was my age (35). I love my dad. He can do anything. He can restore and refinish furniture, remodel a house, build something from scratch or just plain figure something out. He isn't afraid to try and I guess I got that talent from him. He loves landscaping and using his hands much like me. Growing up, he pushed me to be better and it drove me crazy then but now I appreciate it.

For instance, he never thought my track coach worked me hard enough during practice so he would make me run additional sprints at home. He would follow me with his truck and threaten to run over me :-) He also was at every meet or basketball game giving me advice and coaching me from the stands or from the corner. My Dad has always been there when I really needed him. Thanks Dad!

new sweater...

fair isle ivy league vest by Eunny Jang, Interweave Knits Magazine

knitted knapsack backpack, canon digital rebel xti

I am ready to embark on another knitted sweater. So far in the past year, I have knitted several scarfs, mittens, hats, bags, a backpack and two sweaters! They say knitting is the new yoga and I tend to agree. Knitting has been very therapeutic for me. I can forget about all my troubles and just get hypnotized by the clicking of my needles and the mantra of knit, purl in my head. I have decided to take on a challenging fair isle project and I need some spice in my knitting life. The above picture is of a knapsack backpack that I knitted while I was laid up with a ruptured achilles from all the steriods they injected into me for my neurological disorder. The only good thing to come of that injury was definately this backpack. I took this pack to Italy and everywhere I went someone had a nice compliment on the pack. I had several people offer to buy it. It was such a labor of love and very time intensive.

back to the gym...

caitlin, canon digital rebel xti

It's been four long years since I have seriously worked out due to my painful neuropathy. I tried to start back one year ago and ruptured my achilles which put me out of the gym for the past year yet again. I have gained 60 pounds in the last year. I keep asking myself how I got here... in this boat...

I am done being angry at myself, done with feeling sorry for myself and done making excuses about my illness stopping me from getting fit.

I also know that I have to deal with my emotional eating habits. I find myself eating for any reason/occassion. If I want to have a cute little girl someday, I better get busy in the gym. There is no way I would want to be pregnant at this weight! Time is running out in that arena as well. It sucks being 35!

caitlin makes the news

my niece caitlin, canon digital rebel xti

Before the big snowstorm hit this weekend, we actually had a nice day last week where the temperature reached 70. My niece was playing outside with a bubble maker and a reporter zoomed by and snapped this picture of her. She made the local paper and the amazing thing is she sat there long enough to be captured. Whenever I babysit for her she is constantly on the go and she never sits still for more than 30 seconds (and that ususally requires bribery with food).

blizzard in march?

our driveway early this morning, canon digital rebel xti

Yesterday we got an unexpected major snow storm. Where was this storm around Christmas when we really needed it? We had about 16" in the last 24 hours. The snow was so deep in places that our dog could barely make it through to find a spot to go to the bathroom. Poor Denver. We are at a level three snow emergency so we are stuck inside watching bad tv, eating and watching the ocassional movie.